A couple of days later we visited the eleven-year-old in intensive care. She was eating her lunch when the four of us arrived. I think it was the best moment of my life. I squeezed Michaela’s hand tight.
Unfortunately, the little two-year-old couldn’t be saved. A case that brought tears to many eyes in the hospital. The resuscitation efforts went on for hours.
The other family members made a full recovery.
When I was a medical student, a retired General Practitioner told me “Forget what they teach you in medical school, son, medicine is 90% art and 10% science”. I resisted the temptation to call this crusty old bloke delusional and re-opened my textbook. His point stuck with me however, and the longer I am in this game the less senile this GP appears to be. We practice medicine after all.
As doctors we have our own graveyards that we stroll through from time to time, and this little two-year-old is buried front and centre. In all deaths you can’t help but what if… if only I’d been wiser, better trained, had more support, better resources even. Here though it felt different, the wound stayed open for longer.
It keeps me up at night. If only I’d been braver. I should have checked the underside of the boat. Maybe I was just scared. James would’ve got her out sooner. I didn’t know there was another victim, I never asked. It was terrifying, waves were breaking onto the boat, onto both the girls. I still can’t believe James got her out. I lie awake imagining how close I must have been to her when I first arrived. She could have been breathing, screaming for her life. I’m thankful for James’s bravery, Evie’s intuition and Michaela’s clarity, all in the face of death. We are bound in blood. I love them all.
We met the family a couple of weeks later. Seeing brother and sister running around, laughing and playing was a special moment. They are a beautiful family. Every so often I’d look towards the vigil of teddies and pictures they’d created on the sofa. The sense of loss hung in the air. The burden of guilt did lift though. I felt better.
Science can only take us so far in both life and medicine, there is something more and that was what that old GP was on to, the art. Not just in the way we treat our patients but in the way we treat ourselves. And it is here that we truly find our medicine; to accept, forgive, learn and move on.
A 2014 study by the University of New South Wales conservatively estimated that the number of rescues conducted by Australian surfers each year is on par with the number conducted by volunteer surf lifesavers. As surfers and water enthusiasts we patrol beaches - crowded and remote - 365 days a year. We are custodians of the sea. Part of the joy of being a surfer is that intimate connection to wind, weather and tide. Cycling home from work I feel the wind on my face, it tells me what’s happening out there. I know the state of the tide and swell. I know about that little east swell due to fill in later that evening. I know the condition of the local sandbanks and what rip currents to use to save my arms. We are continually processing this live data and making decisions. We see things others don’t. A benign shore break to us is a freight train to someone else.
There is no substitute for professional expertise and timely extraction, but those first few moments can be the difference between life and death and a little bit of knowledge can go a long way, both as rescuer and victim. Remember, a quarter of all rescues from the NSW study were surfers rescuing other surfers.
There are no heroes at sea; know your limits. Stash a blanket in your boot and call for help.
In the aftermath of the incident we are trying to bring about positive change. We will be hosting a Surf Survival Week in Dunedin this coming November. All are welcome. Also, keep an eye out for our upcoming web series on ocean safety. To connect with me and stay up to date visit New Zealand Surf Journal.
To learn more about drowning and basic life support please visit Surfing Medicine International and RNLI. Remember, always call for help and learn CPR. And if in doubt, don’t go out.