There are endless life hack lists online about how to be a better person. The key to a more successful, happier you is out there. 50 Steps To A Better You. How To Win Your Day. Essential Things To Do Before 8am. Self-help marketing is a huge industry. As to whether anyone ever puts them into action or wastes their valuable time reading self-help lists remains to be seen.

Here’s a sampler of what the winners in life are doing all before 8am:

•Work out
•Eat protein
•Cold shower
•Listen or read to inspiring content
•Answer emails
•Set goals
•Review goals
•Achieve goals

That’s all while juggling a family, relationship and high flying job. These people are masochists. To fit all that in before 8am, especially with half an hour of meditation, a half hour workout and half an hour consumption of that awful phrase ‘inspirational content’, and everything else means you’ll be getting up middle of the night. Which is daft. I could not be arsed. How are you supposed to binge watch Daredevil in to the early hours if you’re getting up at 4am? Especially when you’re giving up caffeine, alcohol, sugar, gluten and all the other things winners do. Like reading a book a week while making time to write your journal about fasting one day a week.

I don’t know about you lot but my pre-8am routine if there’s no surf and I’ve not got to work is:

•Maybe scratch arse if I’m feeling the need

This seems to be the best way to use my time. Especially in winter when it’s still dark before 8am.

My pre-work routine on a weekday is:

•Wake up at 8am and give alarm clock evil stare that could melt granite
•Hit snooze
•Wake up confused
•Wipe drool
•Hit snooze again
•Wake up, calculate maximum time needed to shower, eat breakfast and make work on time
•Look at Twitter
•Swear again more profusely
•Stumble out of bed grudgingly
•Meditate on the throne
•Set goal of washing self with foamy chemicals
•Review goal
•Achieve goal
•Dry self
•Eat protein (Yay! Look at me being all successful. Or maybe I just like bacon and eggs)
•Remember to put on clothes as frying bacon and nudity don’t mix
•Ensure smell test of clothes before putting on
•Quick step to work

Life is so much simpler when there are waves. The only essential habit you need to develop to be a winner in life is:


That’s it. Makes you happier, fitter, more attractive, and hell, more productive even. You can swan about with the Zen calm of a start-up bazillionaire because you’re a surfer. Doesn’t matter if you’re skint, you are life rich and communing with nature intimately.  It’s the ultimate life hack.

All these lists seem to miss the one key pointer: stop reading lists and faffing about online … go surf.